A No Good Very Frustrating Bad Day: To Pee, Or Not To Pee

NOTE: This is a TMI post, so if you're uncomfortable with that, then you should just skip reading this post.

I had an interesting yet very frustrating day today.

This morning I had my base appointment for our next round of IVF. I get an inner ultrasound, fill out some paper work, and establish a schedule for the huge amount of baby making drugs I get to take. Oh, and I forgot that I had to get blood drawn. I had my ultrasound and my baseline. A nurse drew my blood and I thought I was done, but then the PA said I had to go downstairs to the lab and get MORE blood drawn. No big problem right? I get to the lab and check in and the receptionist hands me a pee cup. Great, I had to give a pee sample, an hour after I emptied my bladder for the inner ultrasound?! Not the end of the world, I chugged a bottle of water- a little over 3 cups- waited a few minutes, then went to the bathroom. Nothing happened... Nothing happened. Not a big deal, I chugged another bottle of water, wait a few more minutes, tried to go again. A tiny, tiny, tiny trickle of pee came out, I tried to catch it in the cup, but of course the cup was not designed with females in mind and I missed the cup. I flushed and washed my hands, danced around the bathroom a bit, trying to work the six cups or so of water through my system. Still no luck. I heard the lab tech open the sample cabinet door looking for my sample, boy was he disappointed to find none.

I then heard my name called by one of the phlebotomist. Ah crap. No, literally, crap. I went number two and was completely indisposed when they called my name. I flushed and washed again (and confused the lab tech on the other side of the little metal door again). I tried again, and again and again. 20 minutes later, I heard my name called again. No longer disposed I opened the bathroom door and called to the phlebotomist.

I went with her to get my blood drawn, hoping the extra time would encourage my bladder. Because I already had my blood drawn once already, she had to use my other arm. She poked me and pulled back on the syringe and ironically, nothing came out (of course I would get the new nurse who can't hit a vein on the first stab!) She wiggled the needle around and around (wiggling a needle around underneath your skin is by far the most painful part of getting blood drawn.) So after getting bruised, she decides to stab my already bandaged left arm. That was surprisingly uneventful for having two holes millimeters apart from each other, but then again, instead of putting the wrap on my arms she put the tape, and I HATE the tape.

After she finished she gave me an orange juice to help my bladder, I sat in the waiting room drinking more fluids, and wait and wait and wait. By this time it had been three hours since I last peed, I had had 8 cups of water and a cup of OJ and was still completely bone dry. My ride was almost here, so I decided to go try one more time. And all the events of my first stay in the bathroom happened again. My last attempt I positioned the cup into place but I accidentally knocked it into the toilet. At this point I was incredibly frustrated about this entire disaster, so I gave up. I picked the cup out of the toilet, ripped the label off of it, stuck it in the little brown bag and threw it in the garbage, washed my hands really, really well and walked out. I had had enough! I obviously wasn't going to pee any time soon!

I'm not sure why my bladder got stage fright, but it was incredibly frustrating and annoying, especially with everything else on top of it. This doctor's visit just ranked number one of my worst visits to the doctor's office, beating the time I got stabbed in five different places by three different nurses who couldn't get the catheter needle into any of my veins (I had quite a collection of kid band aids all over me that day!).