The hiatus

So I took a loooong hiatus from writing on here, mainly because I really couldn't think of anything good to write. I was obviously not going to be a mother anytime soon and I really wasn't doing anything with my life so there were so stories there. I've literally spent the last nine months and counting on the couch watching reruns of whatever new show Netflix has on. A complete waste of my life but when you have no clue what to do with your life, defaulting to an easy accessible vice doesn't sound as bad as it did three or four years ago. 

Have I learned anything while sitting on the couch which will probably be the death of me? Yeah, I learned a ton. I learned how to cover my tracks if I was a serial killer, I learned how to build a bomb ten different ways if I were a spy, I learned that a special species of plum in Australia could save your good looks, I learned that it's way easier for me to blend my veggies in a smoothie and slurp them up with a straw, I learned what the devil's bible was, and I learned that Norwex has saved my life on several occasions. 

But I still am at that point where I have no clue where I'm going, and that's not changing anytime soon. Am I fine with it? Guilt aside, yes. I'm realizing more and more that despite the pressure from the outside world, I need this time. I need it to discover and shape who I am. I need it to become a better person, even if it means I need a week or two laying on the couch doing nothing or sitting on the couch multi-tasking or a rare day of cleaning the entire house or spending the day making a mess of the kitchen trying to perfect my homemade shampoo recipe.

I realize that I don't function like a normal person, but I don't think like a normal person either or desire to be a normal person. I'm disappointed by the path fate has led me on, but I'd rather take a break now while I still have support from loved ones than later when it may fall on me to pick up the slack. Will that day ever come? I hope it does. I will gladly leave my tv buddy for the opportunity for something new.