I'd like to share something that I've learned the hard way this week about Christmas. Two days ago I lost my best friend. She didn't die, she just dumped me for the mistakes I've made that I didn't know I made because she never told me. Part of me died inside. To be cast aside for my imperfection and destroy a friendship that's lasted more than a third of my life is one of the biggest heart breaks in my life. And it's even worse right before Christmas.
That's when I learned a hard lesson about Christmas. Most of us agree that Christmas is not about the commercial side. Most people agree that it's about friends and family, blessings and showing gratitude through gifts from the heart and most importantly the birth of Christ. But, for the first time in my life I did not exchange gifts with my best friend. And for the first time I did not have a best girl friend.
Somehow losing that has altered the way I feel about Christmas. Having gift giving and my bf (and possibly several things I can no longer be thankful for) stripped away has left me with two things: my family and Christ.
My family isn't perfect and they can bug the crap out of me or even hurt my feelings. And I am the same. But at the end of the day they still love me even with all my imperfections and my annoyances. This Christmas my family had fewer gifts and so we spent a lot more time with just being together. I've felt closer to my family this Christmas than ever before.
And I've felt closer to Christ. Knowing how perfect Christ is just wells me up with tears, because he still loves me even with my imperfections that have been dragged out and raked over hot coals. I don't think I have ever felt the Savior's love more than I have this Christmas. To know that when others have completely left me stripped and bare and lonely and to still know that the Savior still loves me and died for me because he loved me so much is by far the greatest gift I have ever received and will ever receive.
Yes giving gifts and baking cookies and being all Christmassy is nice and can lift your spirits, but it's nothing compared to the true meaning of why we celebrate Christmas, because God gave his only begotten Son for us, so that He could die for us and in one perspective of many- so He could say to God on that Day, "I know thee."
