Play date in the leaves

When all my mother friends get together for a play date outside, I bring the bunny. This afternoon we got together to play in the leaves, and when there are dried, crumbly, crunchy leaves to be played in Myla is so there! She LOVES dried leaves. They are her favorite snack and she loves digging in them and nesting in them.

Myla is always a big hit with the kids, so I let Myla off her leash and she, with her posse, played in the leaves and ran around. Myla didn't even try to run away. I'd attribute that to great training, but I think it has more to do with her being a sociable animal. She likes the kids, even when they get a little rough when playing with her. Over all the kids loved it, Myla loved it, we all loved it!

Learning from a rabbit

I have this kind of rule in life: if it breaks I get to get rid of it. This rule works pretty well on just about anything that I own from frames to ornaments, electronics to vases. There are a couple exceptions if it breaks and it's really sentimental then we'll keep it and try to fix it. Which is why I let Alex keep a stone plaque from one of the temples he visited when he was younger. And if it gets ruined but is still usable, we'll keep it. This last exception is one that Alex and I have had to work on with our bunny, Myla.

Myla is honestly the perfect pet for us except she chews on everything! Excluding for our tv stand, which is weird, it may be because we have that blocked off or because it's black and doesn't look like wood, a blessing in disguise either way! Myla has chewed on everything from pillows, cords, plastic buttons, furniture wood and fabric, my easel, our toes and blankets. I even caught her yesterday trying to eat this little plastic Halloween parachute toy that Alex got from school. 

Some of Myla's first handy work.

You would think that we'd get very aggravated at her and get rid of her or at least keep her in her cage! We do sometimes get mad at her, like the time I had just finished crocheting my granny square afghan that I was very proud of because I had finally made something personal for me and then within two days little Myla had chewed right through the stitches. I was livid! Mostly because I had just finished it and really hadn't even "broken it in" before she got to it and because she somehow got it off the back of the couch which is usually a safe area (that's where we hide our cords).

Sad day when this happened, but  it's fixable!

I then put her in timeout in her cage. If any of you know anything about training birds putting them in their cage after they've been bad is a bad idea because they'll just be bad to get back in the cage where they'd rather be than playing with you. So why would I put my bunny in her cage when she's been bad? If you know anything about rabbits they don't respond to emotional situations like dogs and parrots might, so when they've been bad they don't associate being punished with what they did- and in the case of Myla chewing everything, she's not doing anything wrong, she naturally has to chew things to keep her teeth trimmed. And most of the time Alex and I understand this, even when she chewed through three of my sister in law's computer cords (she was not as understanding). So we don't put her in her cage because we're punishing her, we put her in her cage to get a break from finding newly chewed things!

This one's kind of funny- This tag was on my bag for eight years and
was almost in perfect condition until Myla got a hold of it!

Yup. She's chewed through two of these gates!
Guess we'll have to invest in a metal gate next time!

Myla is part of our family even though she's a rabbit. She's like a family dog (who has the attitude of a cat and the personality of a puppy), so we put up with her misdemeanors and her quirks because we love her. I like to think that God brought her in our lives to prepare us for kids! If I've learned anything from having a rabbit it is simply not to be worldly of our possessions because they aren't going to last forever and when I have kids loving them is much more important than getting upset over something that's broken or ruined. And last but not least- if you don't want it ruined, broken, ripped, chewed on or otherwise destroyed you'd better hide it!

Myla's handy work from last night. At this point this is like
taking pictures of a child's scribbles on the wall!

Spiritual Survival

Sometimes we find ourselves at a low point in our lives whether it be spiritually or temporally where we feel stranded and alone. Our hearts hurt, our bodies are weakened, our spirit is broken. There's a point where we feel like we need to be rescued. On Sunday I had the opportunity to teach the Relief Society lesson. I'm not big on teaching because it racks my nerves like crazy, but this week I was excited to teach the lesson because I discovered a way to spiritually survive in the wild of our time and be rescued from the lowest depths of darkness. 

It all started when Alex and I started watching "Man, Woman, Wild", a show about a husband and wife surviving in situations where they're stranded. The husband, Myke, an ex special ops, has an incredible amount of knowledge and stresses eight fundamentals to surviving in the wild: survey terrain, supplies, water, shelter, fire, food, moral, and rescue. These eight fundamentals that Myke always brings up in every episode not only apply when you're stranded in the wild, but also apply to our spiritual survival.

Below I have expanded on the eight fundamentals and how they can help us spiritually survive during the dark times. I have listed examples under each category, I didn't list every example there is and several work in more than one category. If you think there should be something on this list that's not let me know and I'll add it.

Survey Terrain

When stranded in the wild the first thing you have to do is survey your terrain, ex. you're stranded on an island with tall cliffs and very little beach.

We can also do this on a spiritual and temporal basis in our own lives. Here's a list of things that I thought of that you might assess in your life when you feel "stranded". This isn't a complete list obviously because everyone's situations are different. 

Loneliness

Spiritual stagnation

Depression

Bad influences

Offended

Loss of testimony

Stress

Lack of knowledge

Sickness

New or loss of job

Death 

Once you've identified your situation you're on your first step to being spiritually rescued.

Supplies

When trying to spiritually survive you need to account for all the supplies you have. As members of the church we are given lots of supplies for our spiritual benefit. These supplies will be used throughout the entire time you are stranded. Here's a list of the supplies that will help you:

Scriptures
Ensign/Words of the apostles

Prayer

Going to church

Bishop

Missionaries

VT/HT

Other members

Family
Friends

The temple

The Holy Ghost

Repentance

Water

Finding water is always your first priority after you've assessed your situation and what you have to help you. Water is essential for any living thing's survival. Likewise spiritual water is a basic essential for our souls. A few things that could represent water for our souls:

Faith

Testimony

Gospel
Atonement
Sacrament
Baptism

Shelter

Shelter can come in physical form or spiritual, but for this purpose the list below is purely physical. They keep us not only out of temporal storms but can shelter us from spiritual storms that can plague our lives.

Church

Temple

Home
Another member's/friend's home

Fire

A fire keeps our physical bodies warm, lights up the dark, keeps predators at bay and keeps us going. A fire in our souls, like a physical fire, keeps us warm, keeps the dark out, keeps enemies at bay and gives us the courage to keep going. Our spiritual fire is by far the most personal things in these lists. These are some personal spiritual fires you might have:

Returning to Heavenly Father

My family*

My physical or mental health

My friend's testimonies

The Holy Ghost

My Agency*

Service

Agency

No principle in time or eternity is so cherished as the right of agency, the right to consider alternatives and make choices without compulsion. A war was waged in heaven over our agency—a war that was transferred to earth. Satan is determined to blind, bind, and lead captive through ignorance and sin everyone he can. Understanding our agency is imperative for our spiritual survival and fulfillment in Christ.

Chapter 11: The Agency of Man Doctrines of the Gospel Student Manual, (2000), 30–31

Family

It is good to be home again after a separation of 17 months from myfamily during two tours of military duty in Southeast Asia.

While I was away I came to realize what an important role my family plays in the development of my soul. Only with them could I ever “endure all things,” since a prolonged solitary life soon strips away motivation and enthusiasm. While alone, the tendency is to turn increasingly inward, to give undue attention to your own needs. This trend leads to spiritual “bad health.” Family life is just the opposite. The love and concern of family members is conducive to good spiritual health, and you learn to turn outward as you give attention to the needs of others. I soon learned that “it is not good that man should be alone.” (Gen. 2:18.)

But of all I endured during the war, it was loneliness that got me down the most. Loneliness cankers the soul in its own way. When we are with those we love, we govern our conduct to please them as well as ourselves. When we are alone, that external stimulus is removed, and with it goes much of our drive.

BY STEVEN L. ORTON Spiritual Survival in Southeast Asia June 1974 Ensign

Food

Physical food is as important as spiritual food. It can make or break your temporal situation and in return affect your spiritual situation. Once your body has been fed you can focus on feeding your spirit.

Reading your scriptures*

Saying your prayers

Listening to conference talks

Inviting VT/HT into home

Family Home Evening

Church callings

Promptings from the Spirit

Physically taking care of your body

Repentance*

Atonement

Reading your scriptures

The scriptures should be of the greatest importance in our lives. Ourspiritual survival during the stresses of our society and the temptations of our time is greatly dependent upon the strength that we will receive from searching the scriptures and listening to the words of the prophets, seers, and revelators.

People as well as nations perish without scriptures. The scriptures are spiritual food for our spirit, which is just as important as physical food for our body. It was so important for Lehi to have the scriptures and records which were engraven on the brass plates that the Lord commanded Nephi to slay Laban in order to obtain them. The Lord knew of their importance for the spiritual nourishment of Lehi and his descendants. He explained: “It is better that one man should perish than that a nation should dwindle and perish in unbelief.” (1 Ne. 4:13.)

Search the Scriptures LIONEL KENDRICK April 1993 General Conference

Repentance

To help youth survive, President Packer suggested several items.

“First on your ‘to do’ list, put the word prayer,” he said. “Most of the time, your prayers will be silent. You can think a prayer. … Do not allow the adversary to convince you that no one is listening on the other end. Your prayers are always heard. You are never alone!”

Next, President Packer said, take care of your body. Be clean. Follow the Word of Wisdom. “Stay away from tattoos and similar things which deface your body. Do not do that which would dishonor yourself, your parents, or your Father in Heaven. Your body was created in His image.”

He continued, “Add, ‘repent often’ to your list of things to do. This will bring you lasting peace that cannot be purchased at any earthly price. Understanding the Atonement may be the one most important truth that you can learn in your youth.

“You have been taught at home and in seminary about the Atonement of Jesus Christ. The Atonement is like an eraser. It can wipe away guilt and the effect of whatever it is that is causing you to feel guilty. Guilt is spiritual pain. Do not suffer from chronic pain.

“There are other things we could add to the list, but you know what you should and should not be doing in your life. You know right and wrong and do not need to be commanded in all things,” President Packer said.

-How to Survive in Enemy Territory  by President Boyd K. Packer at the Seminary Centennial Broadcast.

Morale

When surviving in the wild, morale is so important it can determine whether you  live to be rescued or die.  Spiritual morale is no different. Part of that morale can come from your personal cheerleaders or from the small triumphs you make each day. Here are a few morale boosters:

Family

Holy Ghost*

Family History*

Progress

Holy Ghost

“You have been taught all of your lives about the gift of the Holy Ghost, but teaching can only go so far,” he said. “You can and, in fact, you must go the rest of the way alone to discover within yourself how the Holy Ghost can be a guiding and protective influence.”

Learning how the Holy Ghost operates in each individual life is, President Packer said, the quest of a lifetime. “Once you have made that discovery for yourself, you can live in enemy territory and [you] will not be deceived or destroyed. No member of this Church—and that means each of you—will ever make a serious mistake without first being warned by the promptings of the Holy Ghost.”

“You cannot lie or cheat or steal or act immorally and have those channels remain free from disruption. Do not go where the environment resists spiritual communication,” President Packer said.

-How to Survive in Enemy Territory  by President Boyd K. Packer at the Seminary Centennial Broadcast.

Family History

“When we honor our national heritage, it becomes easier for us to honor and uphold our religious heritage as Latter-day Saints,” she said. “We are members of one large family of God. I know that the Church is that of Jesus Christ and not an ‘American church’ as the world sometimes sees it. The activity reminded me that I need to apply the teachings of the Church in my life to make my country stronger and better.”

Melissa Merrill, Church News and Events 8 NOVEMBER 2011

Rescue

If you've made it this far to being spiritually rescued then you must be feeling great joy and happiness. It's very exhilarating isn't it? But what have you learned from this? What have you become? What have you gained? How can you apply this for future use? Being rescued doesn't mean you won't find yourself lost again, but now you know how to survive till rescue comes.

A better person

Peace

Increase of knowledge/wisdom

Can hear the promptings of the Spirit better

Better attitude

Testimony*

Self discipline*

Testimony

 32 But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not: and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren. Luke 22:32

One beautiful night in April 1972, Elders McIntire and Richards knocked on my door. At that time my wife and I were searching for answers to many questions that confused and troubled us.

The powerful testimonies of those two representatives of the Lord deeply touched our souls. A marvelous new feeling filled our hearts. We received our answers.

Our first visit to church helped our testimonies grow because of the Spirit there and the love those people showed us. Their messages and testimonies confirmed that we had found the true Church.

We attended the meetings with respect and reverence, but we postponedbaptism because we feared a negative reaction from our families.

During that time, the district of Rio de Janeíro held its quarterly conference. A strong spirit filled the hall. Brother Val Carter, a counselor to the mission president, spoke, declaring his complete dependence on Christ for salvation and exaltation.

A miracle occurred in that moment. The Holy Ghost reconfirmed the truthfulness of the gospel, and our fears vanished. On July 2, 1972, my wife and I and our eldest son, Marcus, entered the fold through the gates of baptism.

Since then, our families and friends have come to respect the Church. My sister Ivette and some of our best friends have accepted baptism.

What made these miracles possible? The testimonies of faithful Saints upon which I was temporarily dependent. They prepared my mind and heart to receive a full confirmation of the Holy Ghost.

A testimony is not a work that is ever completed and concluded. It is a process of continuous development. Nourishing and strengthening our testimonies is essential to our spiritual survival.

The Value of a Testimony BY ELDER HELVÉCIO MARTINS The Friend June 1991

Self discipline

“The key word is discipline—self-discipline. The word discipline comes from the word disciple or follower. Be a disciple/follower of the Savior, and you will be safe. … You can resist temptation.”

-How to Survive in Enemy Territory  by President Boyd K. Packer at the Seminary Centennial Broadcast.

Friday with Ethan

A poem about my Friday afternoon babysitting Ethan.

Ethan's asleep,
Whoops! There's a peep.
The golden hair boy is excited today,
Time to read, no time to play,

Out of his crib he races to the books,
He sits on my lap with that adorable look.
On and on I read,
Pirates, puppies, and pumpkin seeds.

Then it's down the stairs,
Leap through the air,
Slide on the belly,
Then juice in the belly.

Cars, trucks, and trains,
Books on puppies again!
Then teach him an evil laugh,
Pbbbt! Whoops there's some gas!

Bwahahah! Head tilted up,
Time for your sippy cup!
Run, run, pounce, pounce!
Don't let the ball bounce!

Around the table it rolls,
Watch out for the bowls!
Run, trip, fall,
You're not hurt at all!

Big boy, big boy,
What's with this toy?
Done with that, then to sit,
Then to play with cars a bit,

Zzzzz now it's time for me to nap,
Want to sit on my lap?
Just kidding! Mwahahah!
I've got you baby and all!

Knock knock on the door,
Who could that be for?
Open the door and it's a friend,
Saying hi to Ethan!

What a big day of fun,
Now my job is done,
Mama's back with with her son.
What a big day of fun!

Family home videos

I like to mess around a bit with my video camera on my phone so I thought I'd share a few videos of my little family Alex, Myla, Maren, and Jackie.


This my husband Alex, he's a fourth grade teacher and a life long learner. He recently over the summer spent a week on one of the great lakes learning about the ecosystems in the lakes. As a perk they let him borrow their Helga the Hydrilla costume for Halloween, although after trying it on he realized that maybe he wouldn't be wearing it after all. :)


This is Myla, our bunny. She's our baby, we spoil her rotten. Recently I reorganized the kitchen so I was moving her cage and moving all our pantry shelf stuff everywhere. She wasn't too happy about this until I finally finished. Then she got to explore the newly arranged kitchen and I think she likes it even more now that she can hide on those buckets!



This is Maren and Jackie, well mostly Maren. Maren is a lovebird and Jackie is a cockatiel. The two are like brother and sister and they fight like it too! When they come out to play Jackie immediately finds the first reflective surface and sits in front of it drooling over his reflection. Maren is much more playful, so here's what my birds do with ten minutes of play time.

Sister Wives

Yes, I've been watching TLC "Sister Wives". Not sure how many Mormons actually have watched this show and- random opinion after watching "John and Kate Plus Eight"- I'm under the opinion that TLC ruins family's lives. 

Anyways, I wanted to watch this show because for as long as I can remember I seriously struggled with the fact that the LDS church used to practice polygamy way back in the day. To me it honestly feels like the non-lawfully married wives are just- well a man's whore, and the children- bastards. So even though LDS Mormons don't practice polygamy any more- and if God ever said to do it again I I could not follow that and would not have it in my marriage (honestly Alex couldn't handle more than one wife)- I wanted to understand it more and the decision that God made at that time. 

So after watching the first three seasons I still would never have wanted to participate in polygamy if I were alive back in the day, but I am finding myself more sympathetic to their trials and struggled.

Ok, now for a soap box bit- I don't agree with some of the things they say on the show although most of it is still similar to our beliefs- but I definitely don't agree that there should've been so much discrimination in Utah especially when they aren't necessarily breaking any laws. I've heard this a lot from people that have lived in Utah and it's really kind of sad. Mormons are supposed to be the most tolerant of people especially with our history. I understand that the show's view is skewed and not everyone in Utah is like that- I'm friends with very many people from Utah who aren't. I like what one of the sister wives said in the show- judge us but let us live our lives freely (paraphrased). That was beautiful and so true- part of living in America is being able to think freely and live freely. And as a church I'm pretty sure we believe in that and unless someone has entered into covenants with the Lord we don't hold them to the same standards. We invite them to be held to the same standard and applaud when they are at the same standard but never take away their agency. Now off the soap box.

On to what I thought of the show- one of the things I do like about these reality shows from TLC (guilty pleasure shows as I call them) with families is that I do get to meet some incredible, unique, true personalities- but after about the first season it takes on a law if physics and you can no longer observe an object in their natural state. Then TLC (the press, the money, the fame etc) really ruins families. 

But before that tipping point came I couldn't help but think that the sister wives together reminded me of when sister-in-laws get together- which I can relate to because I have seven on my husband's side. All the sister wives have such different personalities like my sister-in-laws and some of them remind me of a few of them (especially Robyn). I personally relate to them too (especially Mari), because, despite their strange lifestyle, they're still women and still go through things that any other woman goes through. That's what I like most about this show, getting to know the women individually. 

Will this show ever change how I feel about polygamy? I don't think so. I think it will take a lot more studying and prayer before I understand that decision the Lord made back then. Do I now have more tolerance to a lifestyle so close to my own but has a threatening aspect to marriage? I'm pretty tolerant of most people's lifestyle choices even if I don't agree with them, but I do feel my tolerance has increased for people who are different than me because I have gotten to know them personally via my tv. It definitely helps too that they are women. I'll probably never understand men, I still don't understand my husband! 

The gender controversy

I've been sitting on this post for a while now and am a little hesitant to share it with everyone mostly because I'm not into discussing heavy controversy with people and I really don't want my blog writing to turn negative (this is a problem I've had with passed blogs), but the Stake Relief Society Presidency has been going around addressing the issue of the "ordain woman" movement and so I thought I'd share my thoughts on gender roles. As far as what side I'm on- do I want woman to have the priesthood or not- I'm on God's side. If God wishes to give the woman the priesthood in this life then he will on his own terms. Personally I don't want to hold the priesthood like men do, but I have no objection for women in general to hold the priesthood- when God sees fit. We have all been preordained to be priests and priestesses in the next like so eventually if you're worthy we will all be ordained.

The rest of this post is not about the "ordained women" movement but about how I view gender roles and labels. There are some beautiful (I think) things written in here that may make you think twice about how society and the church view gender labels. I believe very strongly in the roles of male and female in the gospel and do not wish to change your beliefs about male and female (sex) roles in the church, but wish to open your eyes more about gender, which is very different than sex. So here it is–

I'm a big believer in not using gender stereotypes on people, especially children. I don't mean that I'm going to go dress my little boy up in a dress (although back in the day this wasn't uncommon) or I'm going to expect my little girl to play football with the others boys. What I mean is literally not using things like dresses and playing football to define my child as a girl or a boy. Will I be putting cute, frilly little dresses on my baby girl when I have one? Yes. But, I'll also be putting my cute little boy in cute little suits. I know it sounds contradicting but there is a huge difference between the two and it has to do with the mentality of it all. When I say I'm not going to use gender stereotypes with my child that means I'm not going to force my child to identify with the color pink as girly (incidentally pink was also historically a color baby boys wore) or playing with cars as boyish. Instead it will be "the color pink is a pretty color and you think it's a pretty color because it's your (and my) favorite color so we're going to go buy you cute pink clothes and awesome pink cars to match your favorite pink bed spread." And when they get tired of pink and their favorite color is black and they like to collect black rocks as their new thing, then that's what we'll do.

Growing up my younger sister and I were obsessed with animals, we would take an awesome plastic cheetah toy over a Barbie any day. We would pretend we were dogs and crawl around in the grass barking all day. My little brother owned a doll when he was a baby. He used to wrestle with the missionaries, he sucked at school. My older sister used to destroy doll hair, why? Because she was fascinated with learning how to cut hair (still is) and a lot of dolls suffered for it. She loved playing soccer. I once asked for rocks and sticks for Christmas because I had a wild and vivid imagination. I used to have the worst bowl hair cut ever and my favorite color was never pink. My little sister was the only one of us ever to own a mermaid Barbie doll with growing hair. Her best friends have always been boys.

Where are the four of us now? My older sister who loved to do hair still does her own and wears tons of make up, but doesn't like to be in the popular crowd and prefers to biking over soccer. Me, I'm as "girly" as you can get without doing my hair and make up. I even like the colors pink and purple and have many clothes in those colors. I'm still all natural, I like my hair long, I'm very creative and imaginative still, I love dinosaurs and when I "grow up" I want to be a paleontologist. My little sister still loves animals, she has 19 rats, 10 betas and other fish, a dog and a cat. She loves to read and is as creative, if not more than, as me. She doesn't relate to girls still, but she has several friends that are girls who think she is awesome. She doesn't like to be "girly" but she's seen more chick flicks than I have. My brother doesn't own his doll anymore, but he still wrestles– ergh– does tae kwon do. (second degree black belt). He's very handy with  wood and a saw and is taking more AP classes at school than the other three of us combined.

So what's my point? Notice how many gender related things I listed that flip flopped from back then to now. Count the number of things that aren't gender related. If you're not gender labeling then everything above should be counted in that list. What did you get?

Now this doesn't mean that some gender labels– let's call them roles– aren't important to us. Roles such as mother and father. There are many responsibilities that secular and non secular go with these two roles. In the church we take this very seriously. But what happens when you take one of those out of the equation? Then mother has to take on the role as father. She has to provide for her children like a father and she still has to nurture them like a mother, and vise versa. When it comes to all those gender labels that we fight about in society, one's that should go this way or that way or if they have those then we should have them too, we forget that every single one of us can do those things if we have to. The only thing that cannot be shared or switched (without surgery, even then...) is everything reproductive. That physical attribute is set in stone the moment you are born (don't get into the whole "what if you have both?" argument because I'm not sure how that works.), everything else is purely based on the individual and the circumstances/environment that they grow up in.

I have this beautiful diptych painting that portrays the silhouettes of a man and a woman and written all over are some simple, straight forward thinking. I'll leave with you what they say: